April 8, 2012

Coming Out Of The Fog...

I have to admit that my rather twisted sense of humor comes in handy during times of stress. I can usually come up with some smart$%$ thought or comment to help take the edge off what is otherwise a difficult moment. With that said, here's a couple of rather off centered humorous moments from the past few weeks.

My Mom, Nella and I are in search of a Party City.

Nella: Driving in DFW traffic without a clue where she is going.

Me: Riding in the passenger seat attempting to provide Nella with directions. I say, I think you turn right in to this parking lot. There should be a Lowe's and a Bed, Bath and Beyond.

Mom: There's a Lowes.

Nella: I don't see a Bed, Bath and Beyond or a Party City.

Me: You girls do realize this is the closest you'll probably ever come to "the blind leading the blind"?

The three of us break out in to hysterical laughter.

Then there's the day when after starring at the computer screen, the TV, the iPhone and even my own face in the mirror only to see a blob of colors with basically no meaning or lines of definition and all I could think of was the old movie Dazed and Confused and hunky Matthew McConaughey's character Wooderson; all laid back and cool, as he said "all right, all right, all right". I was "dazed and confused" but it was definitely not "all right".

I'm truly coming out of a fog. A fog known by those with Multiple Sclerosis as Optic Neuritis. And yes, the term "dazed and confused" has taken on a whole new meaning since I've had it.

Definition: Optic Neuritis - inflammation of the optic nerve which may cause a complete or total loss of vision. In some cases it is permanent.

I was very lucky as I did not lose total vision in either eye. After five steroid infusions and three weeks of "fog" the vision in my right eye is basically back to normal. The vision in my left eye is on its way. All I need is a little time and patience. Some days everything seems almost normal. Some days it is not. The doctor says this is to be expected. Time is the only cure.

I read a Pinterest item a while back that asked something along the line of what if God took away tomorrow everything that you didn't thank Him for today. This episode has really made me stop and think about that. I have always taken my senses for granted. I had honestly never given an ounce of thought to what a blessing they are. Let me tell you, they are priceless.

While "in the fog" I couldn't help but think about what life would be like if the fog were to never lift. I never once believed that it wouldn't but, being human, there were times it entered my mind. The idea terrified me. Although the Senór assured me it wasn't shallow I felt guilty worrying over what I thought were shallow things. I couldn't use the computer - I couldn't play Words With Friends - I couldn't drive - I couldn't read - I couldn't watch TV. I tried to be strong but, I'll just admit it, there were a few pity parties.

I am so thankful to the good Lord for my improvement and for the medical care that is available to me.

I am thankful for the Senór who has the patience of Job and never ceases to amaze me with his kindness, understanding and compassion.

I am thankful for my family and friends who support me with their love and understanding in both the good and the bad times.

I am thankful that once again I am able to clearly see each of them and the beauty of this earth that is God's creation.

I am thankful that I have been reminded of my blessings and to be thankful for each and every one of them every time I go to God in prayer.